a place called 2nd

Tonight I find myself 2nd.

Again.

It seems I have begun to make this a habit, and I am beginning to wonder if it is because I'm afraid of first place. First place seems so final, so set. Once you have gotten first place, there's nothing else to win. You've become the best you can be, and can only retreat downward. Maybe that's what I'm doing- retreating- to second, someplace that's comfortable and familiar.

I'm used to this place.
It knows me, and I it.